


Where I Like You Best

by EvensDramaticShenanigans



Series: Spierfeld Week [2]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Emails, M/M, Music, Soulmates, Spierfeld Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 05:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14277450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvensDramaticShenanigans/pseuds/EvensDramaticShenanigans
Summary: Bram hears him before he actually sees him. Simon’s laugh bursts through the general buzz of chatter, and Bram’s eyes are drawn to him immediately. He’s a few feet past Bram now— which means he had to walk past him. And he has headphones in. The music is quiet enough that it’s a completely, totally plausible conclusion to jump to. Bram doesn’t want to get his hopes up, he really doesn’t. But standing there, staring at the back of Simon Spier’s head as he disappears around the corner, flanked by Nick and Leah, Bram can’t help buthope.Or, the soulmate au in which you hear the music your soulmate is listening to





	Where I Like You Best

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit!! So, when I saw the prompt for today I’m not gonna lie, I was kind of worried. See, I’ve never written a soulmate au before and it took me forever to find a prompt that I liked enough. But even then I wasn’t like _in love_ with ir or anything yknow? But then I sat down and started writing and I knocked out 1k in no time and it was? So? Easy? I was so surprised. And then after class I just started writing and writing and I knocked out this entire 4k fic. And I actually kind of love it? Like, this might be my favorite Spierfeld thing I’ve written so far sfkglhd.
> 
> Also, the emails were supposed to be indented to look more Authentic but I can't figure out the ao3 formatting for the life of me so. That didn't happen.
> 
> The title comes from [Between the Bars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPD-a1FjUtU) by Elliott Smith _of course_.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you all like it!

FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com

TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com

DATE: Dec 4 at 1:05 AM

SUBJECT: Re: This might be kind of selfish…

Jacques,

I downloaded the Elliott Smith song you recommended and I have to say it still surprised me a bit, even though you warned me about it being kind of a sad one. It was a good song though, and the more I listen to it the more I like it. I think you’re on to something when you say Elliott Smith was the greatest songwriter since Lennon and McCartney. I think you’d be happy to hear that I downloaded a few more of his songs too.

It might be a little bit selfish, sending me a list of your favorite songs like that. But I can’t bring myself to care much. Actually, I’ve thought of doing the same thing myself. I’ve spent time searching through my music library for something other than showtunes and the occasional guilty pleasure Justin Bieber song (don’t judge), looking for my favorites to share with you. But if I’m being honest here, the idea of sharing my music with you kind of scares me. 

It scares me because I just don’t know if I’m ready for you to know who I am yet. And if I were to share my music tastes with you, I’m pretty sure you’d know. Or at least you’d be able to figure out who I am. It’s a pretty distinct mix of genres and if I were to listen to it at school you might be able to hear it and, inevitably, figure out who I am.

Though, I suppose that’s kind of foolish of me to assume. That you’d be able to hear the music. Only my soulmate can hear the music I listen to, and unfortunately, I don’t even know if you’re my soulmate. It feels like you are though. I’ve never told anyone as much as I’ve told you, and I just feel so connected to you in a way I’ve never felt with anyone else before. 

Can I tell you a secret, Jacques? I really hope you are my soulmate. I think you would be the best person for me. That’s kind of a big thing to say, but I mean every word of it.

Love, Blue

  
  


FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com

TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com

DATE: Dec 4 at  6:59 AM

SUBJECT: Re: This might be kind of selfish…

Blue,

You have no idea how happy it makes me that you actually liked the Elliott Smith song I recommended. I don’t think I know anyone our age that likes his music. Or even listens to it, I suppose. And no, me forcing my friends and family to listen to it in the car doesn’t count. Which other songs have you downloaded? If you liked “Waltz #2” then you would probably like “Oh Well, Okay” too. Or “Between the Bars.” Or really anything from his album “XO.” It’s my favorite. 

Oh, it was definitely selfish of me. I may or may not have sent it partially because of the fact that I might hear you listening to some of the songs around school. Which, in hindsight, I probably shouldn’t tell you because now you definitely won’t listen to any of them at school. 

I’m always listening to music at school, though. I don’t think I go anywhere without my iPod and headphones. I remember one time my family took a day trip to the World of Coca-Cola. We got in the car and were a few blocks away from the house before I realized I forgot my headphones at home. I made my dad turn the car around a go back so I could get them. I suppose it would be much easier for you to figure out who I am now that you know the kind of music I listen to. And I don’t think I really mind that so much. I’m dying to know who you are, but I understand you not being ready for that. It’s kind of a big thing. I respect your privacy, and I’m not going to pry. 

As for the whole soulmate thing, that’s kind of another reason why I sent the list. I’m dying to know if we’re soulmates. I’ve never told anyone this much about myself either. It’s like I have my own personal diary to confide in, but you know, you’re a person that can reply instead of a bunch of inanimate pages bound together. It’s nice. I don’t think I’ve ever trusted someone this much before. I’ll admit that  _ that _ kind of scares me, but in the best way possible. We know each other, but we don't  _ know _ each other. Does that even make sense? I don't think we would have been able to have this kind of bond without the anonymity, though. And I think that it would just grow even stronger if we were to meet. And I know you said you're not ready for that. Which is totally okay. I'm not trying to pressure you into it or anything, but I do hope that one day we can. Meet, that is.

Can I tell you a secret of my own Blue? I really hope you’re my soulmate too.

Love, Jacques.

 

Bram scrolls all the way back to the top of the email and reads through the entire thing again. As his eyes scan over Jacques’ words— the words he’s read too many times now— he can’t help the smile that curves his lips. He just loves the way Jacques talks. The way he’s so unabashedly unafraid of speaking his mind, of admitting his hopes and dreams and desires all for Bram— or Blue, really— to hear. It inspires Bram. He wants to be able to do that one day. For Jacques. 

Jacques just has his own way with words. And no matter how many times Bram reads his response, he can never control the way his heart rate picks up as he reads Jacques’ last line. 

_ I really hope you're my soulmate too _ .

And god, if Bram hasn’t imagined it a million times already. Probably more than a million times, if he's being honest. Jacques had been the star of many of his dreams— of all varieties— though the most prominent are those in which he and Jacques finally meet. Bram would never admit it to anyone, but in those dreams he always pictures Jacques as Simon Spier. Maybe he’s just projecting his perpetual crush on Simon onto Jacques and this just is his way of coping with the fact that it’s very one-sided, but he can’t help but wish that Jacques and Simon were the same person.

Sometimes he thinks they are. The way Jacques articulates his sentences always reminds Bram an awful lot of the way Simon speaks, and Jacques isn’t very subtle about leaving clues as to who he is. There was the one time Jacques mentioned that his English teacher’s name was Mr. Wise— which had narrowed the pool of possible Jacques candidates significantly since Mr. Wise only had two junior English classes this year. Knowing that Simon had Mr. Wise— with Bram, no less— only added fuel to his hopes that Simon was Jacques.

Occasionally, Bram will catch himself using Simon and Jacques interchangeably in his head, and he always kicks himself for it. He knows he can’t assume, because it only gets his hopes up. So as soon as he finds himself doing that he tries to stamp it down right away. 

One can dream, though.

Bram reads through the email for a third time before pocketing his phone and grabbing his backpack. As much as he wants to write out a reply right now, he has to leave for school in a few minutes and that’s certainly not enough time for him to write a coherent, well thought out response. At least this way he won’t be anxiously waiting for a new email all day— those are simultaneously the worst and the best days. 

He slips his backpack onto his shoulders and grabs his keys. Then he’s calling out a ‘goodbye’ to his mom, pulling open the front door, and heading out towards his old Honda Civic parked in the driveway. When he gets there he dumps his bag into the passenger seat and plugs his iPod into the auxiliary cable and queues up Elliott Smith’s “XO” album— as per, Jacques’ stellar recommendation, of course. 

 

Finding a parking space isn’t very hard since Bram likes to get to school early enough, and he sits in his car for a few extra minutes just listening to Elliott Smith’s voice filter into his ears. He contemplates trying to type out a response to Jacques’s latest email, but thinks better of that after taking a look at the clock— he doesn’t want to be late to class.

As the last notes of “Waltz #2” come to a close, Bram shuts off the car and snags his backpack, deciding that he might as well start making his way to his locker to gather his books before the bell rings and the hallways become impossible to navigate. 

Bram’s about halfway to his locker when an arm drops down around his shoulder and Garrett is greeting him brightly. 

“Hey, man. How’s it going?”

“Hey, Garrett,” Bram returns, tipping his chin in Garrett’s direction in acknowledgement. 

Garrett removes his arm from Bram’s shoulders and hooks his thumbs underneath the straps of his backpack. “You ready for Wise’s test today? I spent all last night studying but I swear I still don’t know half of what happens in  _ Hamlet _ .” He shakes his head exasperatedly and gives a half-hearted shrug. 

Bram snorts. “You know the test is tomorrow, not today, right?” He asks, and Garrett’s eyes go comically wide at that. 

Garrett stops in the middle of the hallway and grabs onto Bram’s shoulders, looking him directly in the eyes. “You’re not shitting me right now, are you?” He questions.

Bram shakes his head and gives Garrett a sympathetic look. “No, I’m not shitting you. It really is tomorrow. You probably were too busy staring at Leah when Mr. Wise announced that he changed the date,” he teases, playfully shoving Garrett. 

A pink dusting colors Garrett’s cheeks and he goes quiet for a moment before starting to walk again. “Do you think you could help me study for it then?” He wonders, coming to a stop in front of his locker. 

Bram’s locker is right next to Garrett’s. He doesn’t know how he got that lucky, but he did, and he’s certainly not complaining about it. He unlocks it and pulls out the books he needs for classes today, shoving them into his backpack. “Yeah, I can help you. How does after school in the library sound?”

“Perfect,” Garrett agrees, nodding vigorously. “Seriously, thank you so much, Bram. I owe you big time for this.”

Garrett launches into a new topic, some story about something funny that happened the other day in one of his classes, but Bram isn’t really paying attention. How could he when the vaguely ominous guitar chords and roadhouse piano of none other than Elliott Smith’s “Waltz #2” are suddenly filling his ears. All Bram can think is  _ JacquesJacquesJacquesJacquesJacuqes _ and  _ soulmatesoulmatesoulmatesoulmatesoulmate. _

Bram freezes, his hand stopping with his book halfway into his backpack. Garrett doesn’t even notice, he’s too busy cracking up over his story, which probably isn’t even  _ that _ funny anyways. 

“Hey, Garrett,” Bram starts slowly, interrupting Garrett’s monologue.

Garrett pauses and finally looks over at Bram. His eyebrows immediately furrow when he sees the look on Bram’s face. “What’s up?” He asks cautiously.

“Do you hear the music?” Bram questions.

A slow grin unfurls across Garrett’s lips and he shakes his head. “No, I don’t hear anything,” he says. 

The song progressively starts to get louder and Bram can feel his heartbeat pick up in his chest because  _ oh my god— is this what he thinks it is? _ The music sounds like it’s coming from behind him, just to the right a little bit— like whoever is listening to it is going to pass by him any second now. 

“Bram, your  _ soulmate _ ,” Garrett whispers aggressively, grabbing onto Bram’s arm excitedly. Garrett’s eyes fly past Bram and he scans through the crowd, like he’s searching for anyone he can see that’s got a pair of headphones in. 

Soulmate. Holy shit, it’s his soulmate. Listening to Elliott freaking Smith, to freaking “Waltz #2” the very first song that  _ Jacques _ told him about. There’s no way that it isn’t Jacques. Bram is more sure of this than he is of anything else in his life right now. And holy shit, his  _ soulmate _ , his  _ Jacques _ is right there, less than three feet away from him, standing in the exact same hall as him, sharing the exact same air. 

The music is directly behind him now and it’s louder than ever. He can feel the notes reverberating through his bones, the piano tune floating through his veins. Bram’s nervous. He wants to turn around, wants to see who it is so badly— but he’s also terrified. Because once he does, everything is over. He’ll know exactly who Jacques is. Jacques won’t know him, of course, and Bram’s been so careful about not sharing anything that would make his identity obvious so he’s almost positive that Jacques doesn’t have a clue, but the idea of Jacques being left in the dark while Bram knows exactly who he is doesn’t sit well with him.

But he can’t ignore the strong pull he feels. He’s so tempted to look and there’s a part of his brain telling him to. It’s screaming at him, begging for him to turn and find out because that could be the exact push he needs to finally reveal who he is to Jacques. Because he wants to. He wants Jacques to know him and he wants to know Jacques—the only thing stopping him from having that is the fact that he’s terrified of being rejected. Jacques likes Blue— maybe even  _ loves _ him. And even though Bram and Blue are the same person, the fear of Jacques being disappointed or not finding him attractive enough is very real. 

Suddenly, the music starts to fade, and Bram feels a jolt of panic surge through him. This may be his only chance.  _ Fuck it _ , he thinks,  _ I need to know who Jacques is _ . And then he’s turning around, his eyes frantically searching through the sea of students for someone,  _ anyone _ ,  definitely not Simon with headphones.

“Shit, there’s like three guys with their headphones in,” Garrett curses, pressing his lips together. 

Bram hears him before he actually sees him. Simon’s laugh bursts through the general buzz of chatter, and Bram’s eyes are drawn to him immediately. He’s a few feet past Bram now— which means he had to walk past him. And he has headphones in. The music is quiet enough that it’s a completely, totally plausible conclusion to jump to. Bram doesn’t want to get his hopes up, he really doesn’t. But standing there, staring at the back of Simon Spier’s head as he disappears around the corner, flanked by Nick and Leah, Bram can’t help but  _ hope _ . 

Garrett’s hand falling heavily onto Bram’s back startles him out of his Simon-induced trance. His eyes are apologetic as he looks at Bram, and Bram can only smile weakly back at him. “Man, I’m sorry. But you know your soulmate goes here too! That’s fucking exciting!” He cheers.

Bram laughs softly and nods. “Yeah, it is pretty fucking exciting,” he agrees. And if his heart feels like it’s floating, well, no one can really blame him.

 

The rest of the day passes by agonizingly slow. Bram just wants the day to be over so he can rush home and finally respond to Jacques’ email. He wants to tell him about what happened this morning. About how he heard “Waltz #2” and how he just  _ knew _ it was Jacques and how that might have been the exact push he needs to finally find the courage to reveal his identity.

Of course, he almost forgets about how he promised to help Garrett study for the  _ Hamlet _ test in the library, he’s so wrapped up in Jacques and replying to him. 

Bram’s halfway out the front doors of the school when he hears Garrett calling him. He curses softly under his breath and spins around to face Garrett, who has finally caught up to him.

“Hey, you’re still helping me study, right?” He asks, out of breath.

Bram nods. “Yeah, of course. Let’s go,” he replies. And then the two of them are making their way to the library. 

They find a nice, quiet corner and spread their things out across the table. Garrett has his notes out— which are, quite frankly, a complete mess. Bram takes his out and passes them over to Garrett with a small laugh. 

“Thanks man,” Garrett says, leaning over the notebook so he could scan over Bram’s notes on the symbolism of the different types of flowers that appear in each act. He only looks through the first few bullet points before he’s looking at Bram again, and Bram raises an eyebrow. 

“What?” He asks.

“Do you think they have those translation books here? You know the ones where they have the original Shakespearean version on one side and the, like, normal English version on the other?” Garrett questions, his eyes flickering towards the shelves. 

Bram snorts. “Yeah, I’m sure they have those, this is a high school library,” he jokes.

“Do you think you could go grab one? I feel like Ophelia when she drowns in the lake— I seriously can’t understand shit in this.” Garrett shakes his head.

“Hey, you understood Ophelia’s death,” Bram points out, and Garrett rolls his eyes.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out that she drowned. They literally say it like five times, Bram.” 

It’s Bram’s turn to roll his eyes, but he gets up from the table anyways. “I’ll be right back,” he says and then heads off towards the stacks to look for the translation. The section that would have the book he’s looking for is in the back of the library, and Bram heads in the direction of that aisle. 

He doesn’t hear it until he turns down the “Shakespearean Literature” row. The slow sultry notes of Elliott Smith’s “Between the Bars” is so faint at first that Bram just thinks the song is playing softly in the back of his mind. After all, he’d downloaded all of Jacques’ song recommendations to his iPod right away and had listened to them in the car this morning. He even caught himself humming it in class earlier. But as he moves down a new row, the song grows a little bit louder. 

Curiosity piqued, Bram follows the music. He turns down new row after new row until the music is loud enough that it seems as though it’s playing directly into his own ears. Bram pauses behind the shelf. 

Almost immediately he knows it has to be his soulmate.  _ Jacques _ . 

Jacques’ words from this morning’s email suddenly swim in Bram’s mind.  _ I do hope that one day we can. Meet, that is. _ Now, Bram finds himself agreeing with that. Well, no— he’s always agreed with that. Just never felt ready to do it  _ now _ . But standing here, one bookcase away from Jacques himself, Bram thinks he’s ready. He wants to meet the beautiful boy on the other end of the computer. He wants to meet his soulmate. He wants to meet his  _ Jacques _ . 

That spontaneous jolt of bravery that had surged through Bram the first time he heard the music today returns and floods through his body. He didn’t think he would feel ready for this for a long time, but now he doesn’t feel anything but excitement. 

Okay, that’s a lie. He’s a little bit nervous too, but he’s trying his best to push that feeling down.

Bram sucks in a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut. Then he’s slowly rounding the corner, just enough that he can see but not draw attention to himself yet. 

When he finally opens his eyes his heart just about stops. 

Sitting there, tucked up in the corner on the floor, is Simon Spier.

_ Simon freaking Spier _ .

Bram swears his heart is racing so fast it’s going to fly right out of his chest and bounce up to Simon itself. He can’t help it though. It’s Simon Spier. Which means that Simon Spier is his soulmate. And if Simon Spier is Jacques— and there’s no doubt in Bram’s mind that he is— then that means that Jacques is Bram’s soulmate. Exactly as he always imagined.

He looks so cute, sitting there with his nose buried into some thick book, his perpetual bed head resting softly against his forehead. Simon has one headphone in and his finger is tapping along to the beat against the spine of the book. His eyebrows are creased together as his moon-grey eyes flit across the pages, and he has to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose every so often. Bram can’t help the warm feeling that spreads in his stomach or the smile that covers his face. 

He’s about to say something, to make his presence known, when he gets an idea. Quickly, he scrambles to pull his iPod from his pocket and yank his headphones out of his jacket. Bram plugs them in and scrolls through the list of songs until he sees “Between the Bars” by Elliott Smith. His finger hovers shakily above the play button and he sucks in a deep breath. This is it. His whole life is about to change, hopefully for the better. Bram presses his thumb down. 

The song starts playing, and Bram can tell the exact second that Simon hears it. His head jerks up from the book in his lap, and his eyes fly around his little alcove. Bram takes a small step forwards, and the movement draws Simon’s attention. 

When his eyes finally land on Bram they widen. His mouth falls open and his gaze drops to the iPod in Bram’s hand before flickering back to his face. He scrambles to pick up his own iPod and pause the music. Bram does the same, and it’s like that’s all the confirmation Simon needs. 

“It’s you,” Simon says. “You’re my soulmate.” His eyes are full of awe as he looks up at Bram. Bram is endeared already. 

“It’s me,” he confirms with a short nod. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jacques,” he adds. The second the words are out of his mouth he feels the nerves twist in his stomach.

If Bram thought Simon was shocked before, then this really is something else. A quiet gasp falls from Simon’s lips and Bram didn’t know it was even possible, but Simon’s eyes go even wider. 

“How did you…” he trails off, seemingly at a loss for words. 

Bram smiles softly. “I’m Blue,” he confesses. And it feels so good to finally say those two words. His fantasy world and his reality come crashing together the second the words leave his lips. But as he watches everything click behind Simon’s eyes and a soft smile start to spread across his lips, Bram doesn’t feel worried, or even scared about it. Because it’s  _ Simon _ . 

“It’s  _ you _ ,” Simon repeats, sounding breathless. 

Bram nods again and he can’t keep his own smile from pulling at his lips. “It’s me,” he says again. 

“You’re…” Simon trails off. “ _ Oh my god _ .”

Bram approaches Simon and slowly lowers himself into the space beside him. Simon pushes his book to the side and angles his body towards Bram right away.

“Are you disappointed that it’s me? That I’m Blue?” Bram asks, and suddenly he’s nervous again. The previous confidence he had is slowly trickling out of his body and as he sits and waits for Simon’s answer he feels like curling in on himself. 

The feeling doesn’t last long, thankfully, because Simon is shaking his head almost immediately after Bram chokes out the words. “ _ No _ ,” he replies forcefully, and then he’s reaching out to take Bram’s hand in his. 

Bram’s eyes fall to their joined hands and he watches as Simon laces their fingers together. His heart is beating so fast he’s kind of surprised he hasn’t gone into cardiac arrest or anything yet. He really hopes that doesn’t happen— not now that he’s here with Simon like this.

“I could never be disappointed that it’s you,” Simon assures. “In fact, I was… I was kind of hoping it was you,” he admits, a shy smile pulling at his lips. There’s a soft pink flush crawling up his neck and onto his cheeks and Bram wants to kiss it so bad. 

“You were?” He asks, unable to help the surprise that leaks into his voice. 

Simon nods. “Absolutely,” he confirms. 

“And you’re not disappointed that I’m your soulmate too?” Bram wonders quietly. He knows it’s kind of a ridiculous question to ask. Jacques himself has said that he wanted Blue to be his soulmate— which means that Simon wanted Bram to be his soulmate. But Bram still feels the need to ask. 

“Of course not. I was afraid I was going to have to choose between Blue and my soulmate,” Simon laughs softly. “But that’s not really a problem anymore, now, is it?”

Bram bites his lip and shakes his head. “For the record, I’m so happy that it’s you,” he adds, and Simon’s responding grin is blinding. 

Simon looks down at his lap for a moment before fixing his gaze back on Bram and tilting his head slightly to the side. “Do you maybe… want to go get a milkshake right now?” He asks.

And Bram knows he promised to help Garrett study for Mr. Wise’s test. If he were a responsible friend he would ask if they could postpone the date until tomorrow. But with the way Simon is smiling brightly at him, with one eyebrow quirked, there’s no way Bram can say no to  _ his soulmate _ . He’s pretty sure Garrett won’t mind once he explains exactly  _ why _ he ditched him in the library, anyways.

So Bram returns the smile and nods his head. “I’d love that, Simon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think with a kudos or a comment! 
> 
>  
> 
> Come say [hi](http://evensdramaticshenanigans.tumblr.com/)! :)


End file.
